Sunday, December 29, 2013

I Need To Craft More

I really do.

There is something about creating. Even if it doesn't turn out great. Even if it is just going to be thrown out. Finishing something - seeing a final product of the effort that has been put out - gives a feeling that is hard to come by through any other means.

I live with depression. It does not help that I work in a field which is often under-appreciated and where it can be hard to see the fruits of your labor. The problem with depression is that it makes it harder to do the things you enjoy, because it either sucks the energy out of you, or sucks the enjoyment out of the activity, or both. So even though crafting something would probably make me feel better, I can't motivate myself to just pick up a project and get it done.

I am going to try to change that. Every morning I have between 45 minutes and an hour of time between arriving at work and actually starting my day. Most of the time I just sit on my phone playing mindless games and waiting for Facebook/news websites/NotAlwaysRight/Dear Abby to load. I am going to try to bring projects that I need to finish or easy quick projects to work on in the morning instead of killing time (and brain cells). I will not bring the complicated projects because that will end up frustrating me, but I will bring things that I can complete in a day or a few days. Maybe I'll even remember to take pictures and post about them.

I am not going to get upset with myself if I need to have a break from morning crafting, or if a project turns out to be more complicated than I thought. I won't judge myself for needing to do something mindless, or read the news, or read a book (if I can drum up enough interest in a book to read again - another victim of depression).

I am just going to try. Because that is what I can do. I can try to improve my life in a small way, and hope that it causes a ripple that helps me improve my life in bigger ways.

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