I Need To Craft More

I really do.

There is something about creating. Even if it doesn't turn out great. Even if it is just going to be thrown out. Finishing something - seeing a final product of the effort that has been put out - gives a feeling that is hard to come by through any other means.

I live with depression. It does not help that I work in a field which is often under-appreciated and where it can be hard to see the fruits of your labor. The problem with depression is that it makes it harder to do the things you enjoy, because it either sucks the energy out of you, or sucks the enjoyment out of the activity, or both. So even though crafting something would probably make me feel better, I can't motivate myself to just pick up a project and get it done.

I am going to try to change that. Every morning I have between 45 minutes and an hour of time between arriving at work and actually starting my day. Most of the time I just sit on my phone playing mindless games and waiting for Facebook/news websites/NotAlwaysRight/Dear Abby to load. I am going to try to bring projects that I need to finish or easy quick projects to work on in the morning instead of killing time (and brain cells). I will not bring the complicated projects because that will end up frustrating me, but I will bring things that I can complete in a day or a few days. Maybe I'll even remember to take pictures and post about them.

I am not going to get upset with myself if I need to have a break from morning crafting, or if a project turns out to be more complicated than I thought. I won't judge myself for needing to do something mindless, or read the news, or read a book (if I can drum up enough interest in a book to read again - another victim of depression).

I am just going to try. Because that is what I can do. I can try to improve my life in a small way, and hope that it causes a ripple that helps me improve my life in bigger ways.

I'm Back!... Ish...

So, I haven't posted anything since October 19th. That's a long time. Part of it was not doing anything, part of it was depression, part of it was NaNoWriMo (or the struggle and lack thereof), and part of it was the stupid weather.

I hit a craft wall. I was working on tatting, and then it just wasn't making me happy, so I stopped. Thus, not much to post about.

I was/am depressed, which makes me not want to do the things that I want to do. Confusing? Yes. Frustrating? Extremely. Not wanting to do what you want to do causes some paradox in the brain, and keeps me from having things to post.

NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, is a literary event every November that for some reason I continue to volunteer as a Municipal Liaison (regional organizer) for despite the past few years being less rewarding of an experience than I'd like. This year looked like it was going to be better; I was working with a local library, my writers were getting involved in organizing locally, I had an idea for my own noveling that might have gotten me through the month. But then, Hurricane Sandy hit, and all that went out the window. I had expected NaNo to interfere with any creative endeavor that wasn't writing, but the hurricane threw in a wrench I was not prepared for. Twelve days without power, the library closed even longer, and outside of a few regulars and really enthusiastic writers most people fell off the radar. I didn't get very far with my novel, either (around 9k, handwritten, some by candle and lamp-light).

The weather. We got pretty lucky - no real house damage (some metal flashing around a window came off), although a tree came down on our neighbor's fence. But no power really messed with my head, especially with the pre-existing depression. Add to that having to leave home due to no power, limiting access to supplies if I had even had the interest.

As another irritant, my laptop has met its untimely end, and I am limited to a tablet or old desktop, which adds some complications to uploading images and formatting posts.

Long story short, expect some posts, but not a lot, especially with the holidays. Maybe once everything has settled down I will get into some sort of regular posting habit.
-Paige